Why do Singaporean adults still live with their parents?

I left my parents’ home at the age of 18 when I moved to the States for college. Interestingly, most of my peers in Hong Kong, as well as my friends in Singapore, continue to live in their family homes if they remained in the same country post college graduation. Even in the case of marriage, a significant percentage of them choose to reside with their families unless they have accumulated enough resources to afford their own place. This trend is notably common in these two Asian countries, in contrast to the United States. Today, we’ll delve into the phenomenon of adults living with their parents and explore its advantages and disadvantages.

Why do Singaporeans live with their parents?

An estimated 97% of unmarried individuals between the ages of 15 and 34 lived with their parents in 2013. Whilst this number is from ten years ago, it’s still unfathomable for me to comprehend why someone would loiter at home for such a lengthy time frame. It’s a fascinating aspect of Singapore culture that often raises eyebrows among our international friends. Let’s unpack the reasons behind this unique lifestyle choice.

• Cost of living Let’s not sugarcoat it; living in Singapore can burn a hole in your pocket. With sky-high property prices and rent that can make your eyes water, it’s no wonder that many young adults opt to bunk with mum and dad. This financial strategy lets us save our hard-earned cash for other life goals, like furthering our education, kick-starting our careers, or exploring the world. This is the reason I hear the most from my local friends. It makes sense but also strips away from an independent lifestyle that can be priceless. We’ll touch on this later on.

• Filial piety and family values Now, here’s where it gets heartwarming. Rooted in Confucian values, it’s all about respecting and caring for our parents, especially as they grow older. Living under the same roof is seen as a tangible way to show love and respect. It’s like a warm, perpetual family hug that keeps family bonds strong. However, I see staying at home as a poor reason for filial piety, especially amongst the younger generation. You can still be taking care of your parents without living with them.

• A built-in support system Who doesn’t love a solid support system? Living with family means you’ve got a tribe to rely on—be it for sage advice, a hand with chores, or simply some good old-fashioned company. In fact, many of us owe our sanity to this network of support. Grandparents often join in on the fun, pitching in with childcare duties and adding extra layers of love to the mix.

• Practicality and convenience Living at home is the epitome of convenience. No more worries about grocery shopping, cooking, or laundry—parents often take the reins. This means more time and energy to dedicate to careers and personal growth. Plus, parents are usually more than happy to lend a helping hand—whether it’s whipping up breakfast or offering a ride to work. I hate this reason personally given it just sounds like freeloading.

• Lack of pressure to move out Unlike in some Western cultures, where moving out is the badge of adulthood, Singaporeans face zero societal pressure to vacate the family nest. In fact, it’s perfectly normal, widely accepted, and definitely no reason to raise an eyebrow. This is something that is changing in Singapore’s societal fabric, and something I want all Singaporeans to challenge.

And there you have it, folks! Living with parents in Singapore is about more than just saving a few bucks; it’s a reflection of our rich cultural values of filial piety, strong family bonds, and unwavering support. Whether it’s for financial stability, emotional connection, or the sheer joy of sharing life’s moments with loved ones, bunking with Mom and Dad is a lifestyle choice that’s here to stay.

What’s the deal with multi-generational living?

In many Singaporean families, it’s common for several generations to reside under one roof, even when parents are old and have children of their own. In fact, the number of resident households increased from 1,145,900 households in 2010 to 1,372,600 households in 2020. Not to go too much into this topic, but root causes of filial piety, economic considerations and practical benefits contribute to such phenomenon.

The flip side and the challenges that come with staying at home

Between 1990 and 2020 the number of those under 35 who lived alone or with non-family members grew from 33,400 to 51,300 (The economist). Additionally, local real estate portal PropertyGuru showed seven in 10 respondents between the ages of 22 and 39 were considering moving out. This shows the growing trend of Singaporeans leaving home. Let’s unpack the reasons why.

• Space Squeeze Singapore is a tiny red dot on the map, and boy, my friends feel it when they’re all cozying up in the same apartment. With property prices soaring higher than our aspirations, limited living space can be a real buzzkill. Forget personal space; it’s more like “Can I please have any space?”

• Independence Living with your parents well into adulthood can make it tough to carve out your own identity. While other twenty- and thirty-somethings around the world are out there solo-traveling, building their empires, or even just decorating their own pads, we might feel like we’re in a bit of a holding pattern. I feel maximum 25 years old is the age where one should move out. This way, it feels like you can structure life to your own accord.

• Dating dilemmas Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: dating. In a city where the dating game is already challenging, explaining that you live with Mom and Dad can add an extra layer of complexity. It’s like a rite of passage—eventually, we all hope to have a place to call our own for those romantic rendezvous. We covered dating in a previous article - it’s much better to have your own abode.

• Parental power Ah, the classic “When are you getting married?” and “Why aren’t you home yet?” questions that can drive us up the wall. Living under the same roof might mean dealing with a bit more parental pester power than you’d like. They mean well, but sometimes, you just need your own space to breathe. Leaving home equates to being in control of your own life. No monetary ties, no decisions influenced by parents if you don’t want their opinions.

• The boomerang effect It’s all fun and games until you decide it’s time to spread your wings and fly. But what if you’ve been under your parents’ roof for so long that you’ve forgotten how to adult on your own? The boomerang effect—a return to the nest after an attempt at independence—can be a humbling experience, to say the least. Leaving your parent’s roof doesn’t mean you won’t come back or won’t take care of them either.

Additional pull factors of leaving home

• Increasing number of co-living spaces Co-living spaces have gained popularity worldwide, offering an affordable, community-oriented housing solution. Singapore could promote the development of such spaces designed for young adults. These environments foster independence while providing essential amenities and a built-in support system. Think Hmlet in Singapore.

• Career opportunities beyond Singapore Sometimes, the best way to encourage independence is to expand horizons. Singaporean companies and the government can promote overseas work opportunities, internships, or exchange programs. These experiences not only help young adults gain independence but also broaden their perspectives. Singapore is a huge bubble, hence I always encourage locals here to go abroad if their means can afford it.

• Changing mindsets There is a shifting societal norm and a growing emphasis on independence, which will lead to a healthier peer pressure to move out of one’s parental home.

Living with your parents as an adult in Singapore can be a double-edged sword. While it offers financial stability, emotional closeness, and an unwavering support system, it also comes with space constraints, identity challenges, and a few extra dating hurdles. But hey, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. Whether you’re nesting with Mom and Dad or spreading your wings into the unknown, the important thing is finding what works for you.

Where is the new generation moving to?

Young married Singaporeans often seek neighborhoods that provide a balance between convenience, affordability, and a family-friendly environment. Here are some popular neighborhoods where you can find young married couples in Singapore:

1. Bishan Bishan is a mature and well-established residential area in central Singapore. It offers excellent connectivity with the North-South Line and Circle Line MRT stations. The neighborhood has numerous parks, good schools, and a range of amenities, making it attractive to young families.
2. Punggol Punggol, a waterfront town in the northeastern part of Singapore, has seen rapid development in recent years. It offers a tranquil living environment with scenic waterfront views. Young couples are drawn to Punggol for its affordability and the promise of a growing community.
3. Sengkang Sengkang, located adjacent to Punggol, is another family-friendly neighborhood. It features spacious public housing (HDB) flats and various recreational amenities like parks, sports complexes, and malls. The LRT and MRT lines connect Sengkang to other parts of the island.
4. Woodlands Woodlands, situated in the northern region of Singapore, has become increasingly popular among young couples due to its affordability and improving amenities. The upcoming Woodlands Regional Center promises to bring more job opportunities and recreational options to the area.
5. Tampines Tampines is one of Singapore’s largest residential towns, known for its well-planned HDB estates. It offers a wide range of amenities, including shopping malls, parks, and schools. The convenient access to public transport and major expressways makes it an attractive choice for young families.
6. Jurong West Jurong West, located in the western part of Singapore, is known for its affordability and proximity to Jurong Lake District, a rapidly developing commercial and leisure hub. It’s an ideal choice for couples looking for a mix of urban and suburban living.
7. Bedok Bedok, in the eastern part of Singapore, offers a coastal living experience. The neighborhood has a strong sense of community and boasts numerous dining options, parks, and schools. It is well-connected via the East-West Line.
8. Bukit Panjang Bukit Panjang is situated in the northwestern part of Singapore and is known for its lush greenery and proximity to nature reserves. Young couples looking for a more tranquil setting may find this neighborhood appealing.
9. Clementi Clementi, located in the western part of the island, is a mature estate with good schools and accessibility. It’s a popular choice for young families due to its well-rounded amenities.
10. Hougang Hougang, in the northeastern region, is known for its affordability and numerous parks. The upcoming Cross Island Line will further enhance its connectivity.

These neighborhoods offer various housing options, amenities, and a sense of community, making them attractive choices for young married couples in Singapore. The ideal choice depends on factors like budget, lifestyle preferences, and proximity to workplaces and family. As you can see, none of these locations are central or sexy. But hey, they’re practical and works for young families.

Have you considered moving out or already moved out? Let me know. Don’t forget to subscribe to see more content like this.